May 12, 2008
As show deadlines loom over me, it has felt really hard lately to try to be a mother and an artist and hold it all together. No matter where I am...studio, home, playground...I feel guilty about what I'm not getting done somewhere else. Some days I'm not sure it's worth it! I watch other ceramic artists moving forward more quickly, getting more pots made, doing bigger shows and find myself feeling jealous. The days are gone when I can just live in the studio to meet deadlines. I feel in many ways like my career has been put on hold. What I can get done in my studio time is what I can do. My kid obviously is my number one priority. On the other hand, having a child is a truly amazing experience. It is so much fun watching his personality emerge. He is learning more and more words every day, and getting more independent. I never thought I would be getting teary on Mother's Day over my 16 month old eating a bowl of cheerios by himself with a spoon for the first time. Finding a balance is hard, but I know I wouldn't give up being either a mother or an artist. So, I'll keep trying to make it work.